Why I Write

I thought I had something to share with you, but I have encountered a block. This happens to me frequently. I can never seem to find the right words to express myself. This isn't a fun thing to experience. I can't even write properly, I feel like such an idiot, and in my home, my sanctuary, no less. Imagine how I feel while in the wilderness. Imagine how stupid I feel when I can't string together a sentence while speaking with my boss or my colleagues or anyone I meet, for that matter.

- pause -

If I met you for the first time, you wouldn't hear very much out of my mouth. If you asked me a question, you would hear half a sentence repeated three or four times because, the moment you put me on the spot, three or four variations of the same phrase race through my head and I can't decide which one to use. As you can tell, this doesn't make for very good boardroom talk, nor does it work very well at any social gathering.

Everything has to be delivered fast. Society doesn't have time to sit and wait for you to illustrate your point. If you can't outdraw your opponent, you can forget landing that job or winning her affection. It's back to the closet for you, young man; you simply can't keep up. Image is everything, and yours just isn't up to snuff.

Maybe they're right. Maybe I am stupid. The race is over before I can complete a single lap.

This is why I sit alone on the computer and write. I write because I'm lousy at talking.