Jack and Jill went up the Hill...

For those who did not grow up in front of the television in Canada, Donald S. Cherry (pictured left) has been a fixture on the Saturday evening ice hockey broadcast - and every other evening during the two-month-long spring playoff season - sharing with us his insights on all things hockey, among other matters. The exact figure escapes me, but, in short, our national television network, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, a product of our tax dollars, pays this good old Canadian boy roughly $750,000 annually complaining about how soft and weak and delicate European players are, reminiscing on days of yore, when verbal and physical assault made one "tough", and throwing the odd shout-out to the troops overseas fighting for our freedom to consume and conform.

I want to draw your attention to my most recent encounter with Mr. Cherry on my television set. Monday evening, he made his usual appearance after the first period of the hockey game, during which time, he offered congratulations to our national team, captained by one Shane Doan (pictured right), on their recent victory at the world championship. He commended the team for rally around Mr. Doan, as he was the centre of recent controversy in our House of Commons, as members of the opposition questioned whether or not he was an appropriate choice for captain of Team Canada after allegedly uttering a racial slur towards a Francophone official during a match in Montréal. The argument was, if tax dollars are being used to send these men to this tournament, should they be paying for a racist to be captain?

Just about every hockey fan in the country rallied behind the ruling Anglo party to denounce this criticism. Mr. Cherry himself contributed his two cents on his segment, saying how "Jack and Jill" - his quaint reference to NDP leader Jack Layton and Bloc Québecois leader Gilles Duceppe - were giving poor Shane Doan a hard time over nothing. Do you hear that, folks? Racial slurs are "nothing"; leave the White hockey player alone. He has championships to win and millions of dollars to make.

As far as I'm concerned, Shane Doan is a racist, as are Don Cherry, Stephen Harper, and the rest of the White hockey fans who rallied behind him, but it's not exactly his fault, for, you see, he was born into an Anglo household. Much like in any Anglo household - and, for that matter, any other ethnic home - his first exposure to a member of an ethnicity other than his own was more than likely through a racial slur. It was the same for me, as it was likely the same for you: our parents, our aunts, our uncles made their "nigger" jokes and their "frog" jokes and their "wop" jokes at the dinner table and in the living room. Sure, we were able to get along with members of other ethnic groups, but the moment we set foot into our friendly confines, these people were suddenly beneath us. There are forces at work aiming to preserve this; they can be found throwing up their arms at "political correctness" for trampling on their right to be insensitive fucks who let racial slurs slip out in a fit of anger in order to send the message that "You are less than human."

Shane Doan, if the allegations are true, although I condemn what you did, I don't think ill of you as a person. I hope, if anything, this experience will open your eyes to the pitfalls of your White upbringing. Despite your being a jock - of course, I never met you, so I can't gauge your personality, but I gather it's awfully tempting to fall into the paradigm of "jock" when you're growing up a handsome young hockey player on the fast track to easy street - and my being a nerd, I do not hate you: I merely pity you.

Come to think of it, perhaps Shane Doan was the ideal choice as Canada's captain: who better to lead the team representing this Great White Imperial Nation than an alleged overt racist? My problem over this whole thing isn't with what Shane Doan might have said, but rather with the hypocrisy of the White opposition, who would not be on this land had their racist forefathers not rid it of its "savage" population.