A Wrong Done, A Lesson Learned

I want to share with all of you a monumental error committed by me:

A while back, I had requested some information from a fellow, whose receptionist told me she'd pass my message onto him. Several weeks passed without word from him, so I grew concerned. Rather than simply telephoning back, I thought it would be much more fun to write an imaginative letter expressing my bewilderment, as I am more comfortable sharing my thoughts through text. Being a fellow bureaucrat, I tried my best to avoid placing any blame squarely on him or his assistant; my intent was to let him know I totally understood how I could have ended up lost in the shuffle.

Lo and behold, it worked, as, soon afterward, he had confronted me about it. It turns out he had answered my query and had left a message with one of my roommates, who had forgotten to relay said message to me. Had I known this beforehand, I could have avoided this embarrassing situation, but my itchy trigger finger had already done its damage. He let it be known then that he no longer felt comfortable dealing with me, as was unsure I could trust him again.

Suffice to say, I felt horrible about the whole thing - I take these matters very personally, as I do not wish to bring any ill will onto anyone, however inadvertent it may be. I asked myself, "How can I preach the virtues of reason and rationality when I fail to practice such? How can I claim to be a genuinely good person when I continue to egregiously fuck so many situations up?" As I sat there, I couldn't help but ponder how much of a shit heel I was, and continued to feel as such throughout the evening and into the next morning, when I stumbled upon my horoscope for the day:

"It's so tempting to go into a situation with both barrels blasting, but that could end up doing a lot more harm than good. Take responsibility for what you did, and then take action in the areas that are rightfully yours."

How fitting I see those words that day. I was too eager to embark on some valiant crusade to slow down and devise a simpler approach, one that would likely not have resulted in stinging embarrassment. Perhaps it's too late to properly explain my position to this gentleman and apologize for my misunderstanding - Heaven forbid, I tried to explain during our conversation, but alas, I am lousy at delivering on-the-spot answers, especially while nervous - so I will take action, as this particular astrologist said, in the areas rightfully mine. I will learn from this experience and do my best to watch I don't trample any toes when I ascend onto my soapbox.

I feel better about the whole thing now. I stand by the content, as I did not set my crosshairs on any one particular being, but rather the ineptitude of the system as a whole caused by the sheer apathy of its financiers; my regret lies with the manner in which I conducted myself, particularly my jumping to conclusion, and my lack of awareness of how the latter would react to such a letter. Perchance, if this gentleman happens to find his way to my latest entry, I want him to know how sorry I am for causing him so much trouble, if it's worth anything at this point. Even when I believe I'm fighting the good fight, I can lose perspective of the situation at hand.

I didn't feel comfortable sharing this with anyone in person, as I have trouble sharing any of my feelings in person, so I leave this at the mercy of the Internetland tribunal and await judgment. If there is any further penance to be paid, I am prepared to face it, for I know I have done wrong. I felt this to be the most appropriate forum in which to submit my defense, as I am hopeful that you, dear Reader, will understand.

I bid you all good evening.