25 March 2007

The Battle Within

Sometimes, I wonder if this is at all worthwhile.

I wonder if anyone around me even wants to give a shit. They're so consumed by this lifestyle, I wonder if they can even comprehend the damage it's doing to them. They burn themselves out living a systematic life in which every step is preordained: slaving away at the job to pay the mortgage so that their families can live in a somewhat comfortable dwelling, buy the car needed to commute from the suburban home to the job to the supermarket, and fly off to the tropical getaway during that two-week-long annual furlough. I see the wear on the faces of these people, living their lives for the economy, awaking every morning at an hour not of their choosing (in most cases), pumping caffeinated swill into their fuel tanks to get through the work day, and wonder why they seem to think everything is okay. Is it because television tells them so? Is it because this is "normal" behaviour, that the world is what it is and we must do our part to get by?

Sometimes, I wonder if we're worth saving.

Then I'm reminded of why we're worth it when I gaze into a pair of eyes - of a child, a loving mother, a friend, an animal, or a special someone - or stand on the shore of a large body of water or in the middle of a vast wooded area. I'm reminded of the beauty this world has to offer and of how it would flourish if we appreciate and share it rather than try to possess it for ourselves. I'm reminded of how wonderful, though painful at times, love is, and of how much better we would be if we were not afraid to let it out.

Beauty makes giving up hurt that much more: I'm not ready to quit, but I don't know if continuing the battle is worth it.

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