Normalcy

I share a profound disdain for the word "normal". During my twenty-seven years as a human being, I've learned that I must be "normal" if I wish to get anywhere in this game called life. I've learned if I'm not "normal", then I'm not to be trusted nor loved. It's a shame, for I want nothing to do with being "normal".

Belittling and fighting my peers is "normal".

Paying exorbitant amounts of money on the latest in fashion and popular music because television and my peers tell me so is "normal".

Drinking savagely until I vomit, then waking up with a blinding hangover in the name of socializing is "normal".

Treating women as nothing more than objects in which to insert my penis is "normal".

Spending the majority of my waking life making money for another while following his rules of etiquette so that I may take home a modest sum for myself to spend on a mortgage, car and other goodies for myself is "normal".

Throwing my scratch into an RRSP in the hopes that, perhaps one day, I'll be able to not have to march my strung-out self into the office is "normal".

Griping about my taxes being too high is "normal".

Drowning out my daily sorrows with sitcoms and sports on my television set is "normal".

Gabbing about what I'd like to buy or what other people did in their lives because my own life is too boring is "normal".

Pledging allegiance to my flag is "normal".

Acting as if everything is fine is "normal".

Does this all sound familiar? It is what is expected of each and every one of us, from the moment we learn to stand up straight to the instant our last breath escapes us. We are taught to conform or live life as nothing. We are groomed to participate in this artificial existence and accept it as "normal", and end up spending our entire lives trying to maintain our standing within this "normal" because we are discouraged from being ourselves.

I'm glad there are some of you out there who don't buy into this nonsense: to all of you, I tip my hat, and to the rest, I hope, one day, you'll finally snap out of your trance.

Parenting

NZ protest to block smacking law

How low have we stooped when we need a debate on the merits of spanking our children as a form of discipline? There is something heinously wrong here. Why is a ban on spanking even necessary? Are we that eager to smack our children around that we need the fear of criminal prosecution to keep us from doing so? We should not be banned by law from spanking our young: we should simply not do it, period. We should be parenting, not punishing. We should raise our children, not rule over them.

Stories like these make me wonder how I ended up a human being.

The Battle Within

Sometimes, I wonder if this is at all worthwhile.

I wonder if anyone around me even wants to give a shit. They're so consumed by this lifestyle, I wonder if they can even comprehend the damage it's doing to them. They burn themselves out living a systematic life in which every step is preordained: slaving away at the job to pay the mortgage so that their families can live in a somewhat comfortable dwelling, buy the car needed to commute from the suburban home to the job to the supermarket, and fly off to the tropical getaway during that two-week-long annual furlough. I see the wear on the faces of these people, living their lives for the economy, awaking every morning at an hour not of their choosing (in most cases), pumping caffeinated swill into their fuel tanks to get through the work day, and wonder why they seem to think everything is okay. Is it because television tells them so? Is it because this is "normal" behaviour, that the world is what it is and we must do our part to get by?

Sometimes, I wonder if we're worth saving.

Then I'm reminded of why we're worth it when I gaze into a pair of eyes - of a child, a loving mother, a friend, an animal, or a special someone - or stand on the shore of a large body of water or in the middle of a vast wooded area. I'm reminded of the beauty this world has to offer and of how it would flourish if we appreciate and share it rather than try to possess it for ourselves. I'm reminded of how wonderful, though painful at times, love is, and of how much better we would be if we were not afraid to let it out.

Beauty makes giving up hurt that much more: I'm not ready to quit, but I don't know if continuing the battle is worth it.

Morality and Economic Prosperity

From the Afterword by Professor Larzer Ziff, following Theodore Dreiser's The Financier:

'In the January, 1901, issue of World's Work, the Reverend William Lawrence, Episcopal Bishop of Massachusetts, built a moral bridge over the deep rift that had opened in American life. On the one hand, because the country was prospering as business prospered, the businessman who sought his self-interest was behaving acceptably according to current social mores. On the other hand, his pursuit of self-interest went against principles that had been firmly implanted in the national consciousness prior to the industrial boom of the late nineteenth century and that still dominated ethical thought (or at least the public expression of it) of most Americans. As Bishop Lawrence said at the outset of his article: "There is a certain distrust on the part of our people as to the effect of material prosperity on their morality. We shrink with some foreboding at the great increase in riches, and question whether in the long run material prosperity does not tend toward disintegration of character."

'The bridge that Bishop Lawrence built rested on two piers. The first was the assertion that man's natural task is to exploit the resources of nature: "This is his play, his exercise, his divine mission." The second was that since God's universe is harmonious, "in the long run, it is only to the man of morality that wealth comes." Written large across the span that rested firmly on these piers was the message "Godliness is in league with riches."'

I'm eager to learn your thoughts on Bishop Lawrence's assertion.

A Wrong Done, A Lesson Learned

I want to share with all of you a monumental error committed by me:

A while back, I had requested some information from a fellow, whose receptionist told me she'd pass my message onto him. Several weeks passed without word from him, so I grew concerned. Rather than simply telephoning back, I thought it would be much more fun to write an imaginative letter expressing my bewilderment, as I am more comfortable sharing my thoughts through text. Being a fellow bureaucrat, I tried my best to avoid placing any blame squarely on him or his assistant; my intent was to let him know I totally understood how I could have ended up lost in the shuffle.

Lo and behold, it worked, as, soon afterward, he had confronted me about it. It turns out he had answered my query and had left a message with one of my roommates, who had forgotten to relay said message to me. Had I known this beforehand, I could have avoided this embarrassing situation, but my itchy trigger finger had already done its damage. He let it be known then that he no longer felt comfortable dealing with me, as was unsure I could trust him again.

Suffice to say, I felt horrible about the whole thing - I take these matters very personally, as I do not wish to bring any ill will onto anyone, however inadvertent it may be. I asked myself, "How can I preach the virtues of reason and rationality when I fail to practice such? How can I claim to be a genuinely good person when I continue to egregiously fuck so many situations up?" As I sat there, I couldn't help but ponder how much of a shit heel I was, and continued to feel as such throughout the evening and into the next morning, when I stumbled upon my horoscope for the day:

"It's so tempting to go into a situation with both barrels blasting, but that could end up doing a lot more harm than good. Take responsibility for what you did, and then take action in the areas that are rightfully yours."

How fitting I see those words that day. I was too eager to embark on some valiant crusade to slow down and devise a simpler approach, one that would likely not have resulted in stinging embarrassment. Perhaps it's too late to properly explain my position to this gentleman and apologize for my misunderstanding - Heaven forbid, I tried to explain during our conversation, but alas, I am lousy at delivering on-the-spot answers, especially while nervous - so I will take action, as this particular astrologist said, in the areas rightfully mine. I will learn from this experience and do my best to watch I don't trample any toes when I ascend onto my soapbox.

I feel better about the whole thing now. I stand by the content, as I did not set my crosshairs on any one particular being, but rather the ineptitude of the system as a whole caused by the sheer apathy of its financiers; my regret lies with the manner in which I conducted myself, particularly my jumping to conclusion, and my lack of awareness of how the latter would react to such a letter. Perchance, if this gentleman happens to find his way to my latest entry, I want him to know how sorry I am for causing him so much trouble, if it's worth anything at this point. Even when I believe I'm fighting the good fight, I can lose perspective of the situation at hand.

I didn't feel comfortable sharing this with anyone in person, as I have trouble sharing any of my feelings in person, so I leave this at the mercy of the Internetland tribunal and await judgment. If there is any further penance to be paid, I am prepared to face it, for I know I have done wrong. I felt this to be the most appropriate forum in which to submit my defense, as I am hopeful that you, dear Reader, will understand.

I bid you all good evening.

Psychology, Society & War

I found this in the latest edition of The Tyee. This particular piece applies specifically to the Robert Pickton trial, but, given that we're dealing with the human brain, it can be applied anywhere.

Excerpt:

'By tuning out altogether, we could actually short-change our understanding of ourselves. "Mirror neurons are very important ways to help you understand yourself and feel self-recognition," according to Dr. Iacoboni. "Our concepts of 'self' and 'other' develop at the same time, and you can't define self without defining other. Understanding the emotions of others can emerge only through a really authentic commitment to other people."'

Heads of State can declare war without batting an eye because it's easy to tune out the horrors of combat when you don't have to experience them first-hand. The same applies to legislators completely out of touch with the societies they try to govern.

Boom Times

The other day, I found this story by the CBC, titled "Wage gap widening despite boom: study". To you and me, this comes as no surprise, as economic "booms" aren't signs that everyone is striking it rich, but rather that money is entering the coffers of the elite at a more rapid rate. The economic engine may be churning faster; it only means you and I have to shovel more and more coal for longer hours each day.

Let me assure all of you, though, that everything is fine. Your hard work slaving away to make the economy go faster is paying dividends. I mean, you have that house (when you finally buy it from the bank) with all that lovely stuff (that you really don't need all that much) and those cars in your driveway (that require heaps of money to insure and fuel before you can put them on the road) and, of course, your loving family (who are trained by the images on the television set to buy, buy, buy).

Silly me! Did I forget to mention the mountain of bills you need to pay to use the phone, watch the television, surf the internet, power your products, heat your home and supply it with contaminated water? Your pocket is wearing thin, my friend. Perhaps you should ask your employer for a raise. I'm sure you've earned it, after all these years, and I'm sure your boss will understand your plight (or replace you with one of the hundreds waiting to work your job for less, and God help you if you happen to get sick after you've been shown the door).

I love the smell of freedom, don't you?